Monday, September the 7th, 2009

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Library Clown Traumas

“True confession:  I have had two library clown traumas in my career.”—Mary, at Awful Library Books.

Mary clearly did not work at the Pointy Town Municipal Library during the 1950s, or she would have had many more such traumas. Between 1952 and 1958, the library was staffed entirely by frightful clowns in full traditional clown costume, as part of a “social engineering experiment” conducted by the Blötzmannite head librarian, one Barb Crutch. She never made clear the purpose of her scheme, nor indeed its results. She died in the Munich Air Disaster, puzzlingly, for no one ever discovered what connection she had with the Busby Babes, and her replacement as head librarian quietly dropped the clown business. One Tuesday morning in March 1958, she tricked all the staff into thinking they were going on a charabanc outing, and once they were all aboard, she persuaded the driver to take them to a big top erected on a piece of land reserved for government nerve gas tests. So ended the reign of clowns at Pointy Town Municipal Library.

Further reading : Library Clown Traumas—What They Are & How To Shake Them Out Of Your Head Good And Proper Using Bleach & A Dog Whistle by Dobson (out of print).