Tuesday, January the 25th, 2011

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Advice On Grunting

Courtesy of The Cat's Meat Shop, some extremely detailed advice on grunting:

Take the baby hand in one of yours. Spread out the hand. Point to the thumb, and say decidedly, yet confidingly –

1. This little pig went to market.” (Grunt and let it be an ordinary pig's grunt.)

Point to the next finger and say, in the deepest bass you can assume –

2. “This little pig stayed at home.” (Give a morose bass grunt and frown.)

Point to the next finger and say, with an insinuating tone and smile, elevating your eyebrows and bowing –

3. “This little pig had roast beef” (and add three quick little grunts of satisfaction.)

Point to the next finger and say, in a voice just ready to cry –

4. “This little pig had none.” (Give two low grunts of weariness, and look ready to cry.)

Then pointing to the little finger, say very pleasantly, in a shrill, droll voice, laughing meanwhile, “This little pig cried, ‘Tweak! tweak! tweak!'” pinching and twirling the child's finger gently, as if you had hold of the pig's tail.

This makes a complete harmless drama of the story of the pigs, and rouses baby's feelings, sensations and ideas in a healthy manner. Five distinct emotions are raised: 1. Interest; 2. Fear; 3. Pleasure or sympathy; 4. Grief, almost to tears; 5. A sudden reversion to mirth, and “All's well that ends well,” a great desideratum in baby estimation. We must remember too, that the feelings during babyhood are ephemeral in the extreme, light and evanescent…