Friday, February the 25th, 2011
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You will need to read Key's Cupboard in The Dabbler with particular care this week. I am planning to use each of the phrases listed therein as the punchline of a spectacularly well-crafted and hilarious joke, each joke to form one chapter of a spectacularly well-crafted and hilarious comic novel. The critics will be helpless with laughter, and I shall be awarded laurels.
That, at any rate, is the plan. If it has a flaw—oh, and it does! it does!—it is that I am not much of a gag-writer. So that is where you lot come in. Readers are invited to provide me with jokes to which the lines listed in the cupboard are the perfect, irresistible punchlines. I will then cobble them all together into the funniest novel ever written.
Naturally, I will take full credit, to make certain of getting those laurels wrapped around my head. Your reward, and it is a fine one, will rest in the knowledge that your wit and hilarity is represented by a laurel leaf touching the bonce of Mr Key. Whingers and ingrates may be further placated by having their names scribbled on the leaves with non-permanent marker pens. I can't say fairer than that, can I?