Tuesday, April the 23rd, 2019
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Midway through our thrilling milk-based calendar, back in December, the Hooting Yard website went kaput. Boffins worked tirelessly to repair whatever damage had wrecked the innards, and I think it is now germ-free at last.
Unfortunately, at around the same time, Mr Key himself went kaput. There was general physical debility, catastrophic problems with my eyesight—still pitiable in spite of ongoing injections of a needle directly into my eyeballs—and, I am afraid to say, a brain which came to resemble an empty vacant void or vacuum, in which nothing stirred.
In the meantime, I celebrated my sixtieth birthday. I cannot simply sprawl around peering vaguely at misty shimmerings and dribbling into a tin cup. No! I must crack away at that damned keyboard again, however slowly and fitfully, and try to unleash further sweeping paragraphs of majestic prose!
It's all a bit of a palaver, with ludicrously magnified screens and hit-and-miss typing—not to mention a compulsive desire to take a long snooze – but I shall do my best to revivify your favourite website.