Monday, December the 15th, 2003

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Celebrity News

I know, I know… this is not really the place to come to read about the doings of celebrities. Thereagain, that's just what makes Hooting Yard so different, so appealing. In any case, this isn't exactly news, just something I feel ought never to be forgotten.

QUESTION : Has Tara Palmer-Tomkinson ever done anything to justify her existence?

ANSWER : Oddly enough, the answer is a resounding “Yes!”. The French writer Raymond Roussel once claimed that, in time, his fame would eclipse that of Napoleon Bonaparte: and who knows, he may yet be proved right. I venture to suggest that Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's name will likewise ring down the centuries, yea, e'en unto the time when, as Carl Sagan so memorably put it, “the earth is a charred cinder, and the sun… dead”. Why should this be so? Recall the first series of that wretched television programme I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! There is one superb moment when Tara and the log-obsessed Tony Blackburn are clearing up the camp. The other participants—including Uri Geller—have left. Tara stoops to pick something up. She looks at it, whatever it is, distastefully. Then, handing her find to Tony, she pronounces the immortal words: “These are Uri's underpants. Burn them”.