The Glue In The Palace Was Rarefied; The Putty Was Dreadful

Bim—Look, here is a photograph of Gervase wearing spats.

Bam—Exactly what colour is that basin?

Bim—I am standing behind a plinth.

Bam—Can I have a look at that owl?

Bim—Do you know how to darn a balaclava?

Bam—I tell you, it is made of tin!

Bim—Let me have those bus tickets you are clutching.

Bam—I shudder when I think…

Bim—Oh look! A cormorant!

Bam—I need to get a bandage.

Bim—That pane of glass gives me the creeps.

Bam—Must I chew fennel?

Bim—Lend me a pin.

Bam—Rotate that thing again while I fetch the trumpets.

Bim—I thought it was an anagram of Pol Pot.

Bam—You unblock the drains & I’ll wear a curious hat.

Bim—At eight o clock I will have to go to the pantry.

Bam—Did you know that Gerard Manley Hopkins mesmerised a duck?

Bim—Perhaps Maisie has gone to her boudoir.

Bam—Is that real dust?

Bim—The carapace of reason has been submerged in a puddle of confusion.

Bam—I can hear the dying groans of a police officer.

Bim—That is a very untidy lid!

Bam—Please show me how to use the whisk.

Bim—He used to have two of those cartons, but one was crushed.

Bam—Leave that cutlery where it belongs.

Bim—Can I take that delicious pudding back to my chalet?

Bam—Hand me that chaffinch.

Bim—Worse things happen at sea.

Bam—Perhaps it used to be a hydroelectric power station.

Bim—I had a nightmare about hens.

Bam—There is a very good biography by Grevel Lindop.

Bim—There is something sinister about that pot of mustard.

Bam—Have one of my spangles.

Bim—Tarry not ‘neath the fat & sparkling stars.

Bam—I come from haunts of coot & hern.

Bim—(ecstatically) So do I!

(Curtain.)