Friday, January the 9th, 2004

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Personality Profile

Are you an urchin or a wastrel? How bravely would you face up to an Antarctic blizzard? Are you kempt or unkempt? Find out the curious byways of your character by taking this special Hooting Yard Personality Profile Test!

1. The boot is on the other foot. Yes or no?
2. Put the following birds in vital order: corncrake, auk, lopwit, bufflehead, shrike.
3. Were you to be beset by uncanny rotating things, would you a) gnash your teeth, b) harangue your priest, or c) take on the appearance of a beetle-browed ingrate?
4. Who said “the carapace of reason has been submerged in a puddle of confusion”?
5. Complete the following series: lascivious, vain, obtuse, preening, splenetic, mud-splattered….
6. If you had a bed of straw, would you lie in it?
7. Let us assume you have been elected Pope. Would you be a Pius or a Gregory? Justify your answer with reference to incredibly arcane theological disputes best consigned to the dustbin of history.

Send your answers to Doctor Fang at Hooting Yard.