Tuesday, January the 27th, 2004
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Crestfallen Dan lived in a hut on the edge of the inaccurately-named Unending Marshes. He had a metal plate in his skull, following a childhood picnic-hamper incident. He was mildly lantern-jawed. Whenever he wrote about being lantern-jawed, or about lanterns, Crestfallen Dan invariably used the archaic spelling, viz. “lanthorn”. He often had occasion to write the word because, shunning human company, he lived alone and ran a lighting-fixture advice service by post. He spent a fortune on postage stamps! Crestfallen Dan did not possess a telephone, but if he had done so it would have availed him not, because there was no telephone pole within miles upon miles of his nondescript hut. He had only a handful of correspondents, or customers, but they were exceedingly loyal to him, for Crestfallen Dan knew more about lighting-fixtures than anyone else, ever, alive or dead, and his advice was always couched in clear and simple language that even a splinterbrain could understand. Crestfallen Dan himself lit his hut with the aid of a single Tilly lamp. He was that kind of man.
Source : Worlds Beyond Sense by Dobson (out of print)