Saturday, April the 3rd, 2004
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News has reached us that Mrs Gubbins has been sprung from chokey. (See 23rd March for details of her arrest.) She is now holed up in a safe house—or, more properly, derelict shed—protected by a heavily-armed gang of thugs wearing boa constrictor masks. They are subsisting on a diet of gruel, slops and pap until a criminal supply line can be set in place. We will keep you fully informed of developments. Please remember them in your prayers.