Friday, May the 7th, 2004

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That Mrs Gubbins Woman

A shrivelled and panting urchin with a corkscrew haircut turned up at Haemoglobin Towers this morning with the latest news of Mrs Gubbins, who we last heard from on 28th April. Apparently, a second raid on her hideout by the Blister Lane Constabulary Dangerous Python Squad was partly successful. Most of the octogenarian fugitive's “minders” perished after being attacked by the snakes and their robot-controlled metal counterparts. Astonishingly, Mrs Gubbins herself made a daring getaway, using her crutches in an inventive way which the urchin was unable to divulge, either through ignorance or inarticulacy. He was able to inform us, however, that our pal has taken refuge in the Tent of the Tundists, who have vowed to protect her if she embraces Tundism. We have sent a greetings card to her. It shows a picture of a decidedly inelegant giraffe standing next to some beetles. Mrs Gubbins is fond of beetles.