Thursday, July the 22nd, 2004

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S & N

I have always thought it a pity that -s supplanted -n (or -en) as the standard plural form in English. There are a few surviving words (children, brethren, oxen) but -s won the day. Yet isn't it somehow more enticing to put on your shoon, rather than your shoes? Or, when taking a nap, to have forty winken? Reviving this old form is simply a matter of will and practice. If we all start saying piggen and flasken and heronen and TV chatshow hosten, between us we can slowly but surely change the language.

While we are on the subject of collective action, something must be done, as a matter of urgency, about the blight of mobile phone ringtones. Here's the plan. Go to this article from the Guardian, print it out, and make multiple photocopies to carry with you at all times. Then, every time your life is made that little bit less bearable by the distressing sound of a mobile phone bleeping out some hideous noise, thrust a copy into the offender's hand. Do not be shy. Take action!