Friday, September the 10th, 2004
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Reader Peter Ross, who drew my attention to the above advertisement, has been trawling through the index to The Times newspaper for 1785-90 and has kindly sent these intriguing entries:
Epping stag hunt ends in mangling of goat—14th April 1789
Elopements : Dublin mechanic's daughter elopes with nimble lamp lighter—30th July 1789
Ink : Land-surveyor faints after mistaking red ink for blood—26th December 1789
Irish people not yet refined enough for opera—19th June 1789
Death and Burial : Peruke maker shouts for another drink just before coffin is nailed up—27th June 1789
Poultry : Hen supposed to be descendant of that which laid golden eggs—1st December 1789
Man traps joker who knocks on doors and rings bells by attaching electrical shock to bell—29th June 1789 : Report of trap set for bell ringer contradicted—6th July 1789: Report confirmed and clarified : incident leads to challenge to duel—6th July 1789
Funerals : Clergyman criticised for eating filberts while reading burial service—13th October 1789
Man drops down and expires while waiter collects coat—5th January 1789
Warning given against sending girls to boarding schools which scientifically educate young to vice—20th October 1789
Philosophical fireworks defended—25th June 1789
Captain's attempted adultery with farmer's wife revealed after bear is let into chamber in wife's place.—12th January 1790
Norfolk Island Settlement : Lack of candles forces islanders to go to bed as soon as it is dark—16th January 1790
Shipbuilder digging ground for dock discovers number of large trees and hazelnut hedge 12-14 ft below the surface.—20th March 1790
Careers : Voracious bricklayer of St. Bride's parish undertakes profession of stay maker.—19th February 1790
Over-hurried blind bullock enters artists' colour shop on Holborn Bridge after missing way; does considerable damage before returning to the street through the window; then goads windows at watchmaker's shop, catches string of watches on its horns and disperses them among mob in street.—13th October 1790
Poor man kills himself with drinking in a northern borough; vestry clerk suggests that master of the workhouse should let rest of poor out to kill themselves and ease parish of them.—6th July 1790
Gentleman who offered twopence as reward for saving lady from drowning defends seeming want of generosity by declaring lady is wife.—23rd August 1790
Hooting Yard on the Air, September the 30th, 2004 : “A Refutation of Some of the Less Plausible Claims Made by Dennis Cargpan in His Woeful Lecture Delivered From the Balcony of the Civic Hall at Bodger's Spinney on Thursday Last During a Hailstorm to a Gathering of Ingrates and Orphans” (starts around 26:10)