Thursday, September the 16th, 2004

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Tinpot Crimestoppers Lab

As its name suggests, the tinpot crimestoppers lab was ill equipped. What crimestopping kit it did have was made of tin. In fact, the only equipment the lab had was a collection of tin pots. The pots came in various sizes, but all were made of the cheapest kind of tin, which as you know is hardly adequate for the often bruising and boisterous work involved in top level crimestopping. If, my fellow citizens, we are serious about tackling crime, root and branch, we are going to need a hell of a lot more than a lab full of tin pots, a lab with a leaking roof and an antiquated piping system, a lab which has not been patrolled at night by brightly-fanged guard dogs since the last sputtering gasps of the Eisenhower administration. Dwight was a pal of mine, but that's another story, and a peculiarly featureless one, empty of any light or shade. Listen carefully, now. The dredgers are clanking upriver, and we're going to need to hold a candle against the oncoming dark.