Tuesday, December the 14th, 2004
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Regular readers will recall that some months ago we appointed a Hooting Yard Tsar, the reason being that it seemed a fashionable thing to do. The government has transport tsars and drugs tsars and smoking tsars and so on, so why should we be left out? The Hooting Yard Tsar is an antipodean named Bruce Gilbert, and our equally antipodean Tsar-watcher, Glyn Webster, has just filed this report:
The Hooting Yard Tsar has been issuing directives daily, usually by phone. His directives are majestically profound, poetic and logical. I'm not always sure who they are directed towards, but if they were to be followed they would place Western Civilisation on a new, deeper foundation and lead the world towards an end currently inconceivable to any other being now living—some great change in human history as profound as the invention of the city or the written word. Sometimes I find these directives so tearfully inspiring that I wish I could remember to leave a pencil by the phone to write one or two down.
On an unrelated note, here is my entry for the November Audubon Bird Of The Month competition, which nobody ever notices because it's at the bottom of the page and people tend not to scroll down that far unless they are indefatigable, like me. I know what that bird is, it's a Southern Kokako. I'd know the Southern Kokako's haunting, cathedral bell-like cry anywhere—although I have to admit to not knowing what it looks like.
Glyn wins a prize in the form of a vague fugitive cloud of roseate vapour or aura. Well done! December's contest can be found at the foot of the page.