Wednesday, May the 25th, 2005

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Max

Continuing with correspondence received during Hooting Yard's break, the estimable Max Décharné sent this:

Some years back I bought an old book called New Familiar and Progressive English and French Dialogues (With Dialogues on Railway and Steamboat Travelling, and a Comparative Table of Monies and Measure) by Richard and Quetin, published by Hachette, 1876, which I was recently looking through again, and it remains one of the finest phrase books I've ever encountered.

Some of it sounds like the dialogue from a porn film: ‘You oblige me in so willing a manner, that it encourages me to apply to you again and again’, ‘I am delighted that you make use of me so freely’, ‘You may dispose of me as you will’, ‘It is impossible to do a favour in a more pleasing manner’ 'I have never experienced such satisfaction', ‘I believe I shall go mad with pleasure’.

Then there's the section entitled ‘To express horror and fright’: ‘It is abominable, horrid, infamous', ‘It is violating all that is most sacred in nature’, 'It is enough to freeze one's blood with horror', ‘There never was anything seen so abominable’, ‘The mind revolts from the idea of such a crime’.

Or perhaps, when visiting those tourist spots in Paris, and one feels the need to ‘express dipleasure and grief’: ‘I am ruined beyond remedy’, ‘My misfortunes are at their height’, ‘I am swallowed up with affliction’, ‘After so many misfortunes, it only remains for me to die’.

Then, select phrases for when one chances upon Michael Howard: ‘His babbling absolutely splits my head’, ‘There is something repulsive in his address', ‘It is difficult for me to surmount the disgust with which he inspires me’, ‘Has he sworn to tease us all day?’

When training for a post in the Diplomatic Service, there's the useful section headed ‘of age and the different periods of life’: ‘Your aunt appears very aged’, ‘His brother, who is younger than he, is quite decrepit’, ‘He is in a state of extreme decay’, ‘He already has one foot in the grave’

And, of course, these random phrases which might come in useful among friends: ‘What a quantity of asparagus and artichokes!’ 'My eldest sister had the whooping-cough, the youngest had the measles, my eldest brother the small-pox, and the youngest a miliary fever', ‘Shall I help you to undress?’, ‘I will take charge of the bread and butter’.

Splendid stuff from Max, as ever. Even more correspondence tomorrow.