Tuesday, May the 31th, 2005

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Swan News

Paul Emmerson writes—tersely, it must be said—“Dear Hooting Yard. I have a swan to cook. The recipes are not on the website. Paul.”

There is a very good reason why there are no swan recipes on the website, Paul. All of us here at Hooting Yard are proud to support the Eating Swans Is Unacceptable campaign, and we have signed up to its Charter. Most of us wear the campaign ribbons which, as you know, come in the form of a purple Eating Swans Is Unacceptable ribbon large enough to be wrapped around one's head as a bandanna or headscarf.

So keen are we on this cause that next month, or possibly the month after, we will be holding a special Hooting Yard Open Day, all the proceeds from which will be donated to the campaign. Mrs Gubbins is in charge of the event and she will be issuing a bulletin—decorated with embroideries and brass-rubbings of swans—very soon.

Meanwhile, Paul, please take your swan to the Peter Maxwell Davies Swan Sanctuary as soon as you can. “Sir” Peter, the Master of the Queen's Music, has of course been known to eat the occasional swan himself*, but we sent Little Severin the Mystic Badger round to stare at him with unerring reproach for days on end, and he has seen the error of his ways, thank goodness.

* NOTE : See, for just one example, Roasted Swan Song : Peter Maxwell Davies Gets Into Legal Trouble Over an Ill-Fated Waterfowl.