Friday, June the 10th, 2005

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Train Your Brain

In a culture dominated by pap, it is ever more important to exercise our brains and keep them supple. There are countless techniques for giving our craniums (crania?) a boost, activities which seem to have little or no practical utility but send our synapses a-buzzing. Chess, crosswords, and numerical puzzles are popular, and an alarming number of people pay homage at the altar of brain guru Tony Buzan, he of the sepulchral voice and sinister black cape.

At Hooting Yard we have devised a new method. It's cheap, simple, and—most importantly—fun*, and we're very pleased to launch it today with a special gala in the field next to the Blister Lane Bypass, which you will probably have missed by the time you read this.

Set to become a popular craze, Memorise All The Place-Names In Finland (Suomi)™ can be played by young and old alike. Over the next few years, we will be listing all the place-names in Finland (Suomi), in no particular order, a dozen at a time. All you need to do is commit them to memory, perhaps while eating your breakfast. You may wish to be a solo player, or you can gather with other Memorise All The Place-Names In Finland (Suomi)™ players and hold tournaments. Overexcitement can be a risk at such events, so please take advice from your doctor if you suffer from any perilous ailments.

To start you off, here are the first twelve Finnish place-names: Petäjäjärvi, Enonlahti, Tuukkala, Hööpakka, Torp, Aho, Sund, Maarianhamina, Eugmo, Törmäsenvaara, Korkeakangas, Lumparland.

*NOTE : A caveat. One must always bear in mind the immortal words of Dr Robert Matthews—“You have to define fun or you will have none”.