Thursday, June the 16th, 2005

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How to Look After a Horse

B—Have you a horse?

E—I have a horse.

B—This horse you have, has it been known to suffer from some common ailments of the horse?

E—A horse I have. A knowledge of horse health I have not.

B—Better put “horse ill-health” than “horse health”. Lack of horse ailment knowledge would suggest you know not of spavins, sweeney, ringbone, windgalls, poll evil, callous, cracked heels, galls of all kinds, fresh wounds, sprains, bruises, fistula, sitfast, sand cracks, strains, lameness, foundered feet, scratches or grease, mange, rheumatism, bites of animals, external poisons, painful nervous affections, frost bites, boils, corns, whitlows, burns and scalds, chilblains, chapped hands, cramps, contraction of the muscles, swellings, weakness of the joints, caked breast, &c.

E—I know them not but find it hard to credit they are all ailments of horse.

B—They are indeed not entirely those of the horse, but of that no matter. My point is that by making purchase of Geo. W. Merchant's Celebrated Gargling Oil, unparalleled in the history of medicine as the most remarkable external application ever discovered for horses and human flesh, you will cure your horse of all the specified ailments.

E—I shall make such purchase without further ado.

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