Saturday, June the 18th, 2005

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Bored With Bees

In a startling move which has shaken Hooting Yard to the core, Pansy Cradledew has announced that she will no longer be keeping us up to date with the doings of the bee world.

“I'm bored with bees,” said Pansy, in a statement released yesterday to coincide with the thirty-third anniversary of the burglary at the Democratic National Committee headquarters in the Watergate building.

“Bees, even killer bees, have begun to bore me,” she continued, “As much as I have enjoyed my tireless researches, I think it's time to move on. Whenever I think about the Watergate break-in that led, eventually, to the downfall of Richard Milhous Nixon, I reflect on the way small things affect big things, how the tiny modifies the titanic. Bees are small, yes, but so are many other things which I could study for fun and profit.”

Asked if she had decided on a new enthusiasm, Pansy said “Carpet beetles”, then swept out of the press conference, trailing befuddlement in her wake. Within seconds, the antiquated Haemoglobin Towers tannoy system was cracking under the strain as the news was relayed from Pang Hill to Hollyhock Lane, where frantic bee persons wept openly, and the constant buzzing in the air faded into an eerie silence.

Carpet beetles, as their name implies, are capable of damaging carpets. These pests will also feed upon many other materials besides carpets and will attack any item composed of animal fibres,such as wool, furs, silk, feathers, felt and leather. Although there are many different species of carpet beetles, the adults of all species are small, oval-shaped beetles about an eighth of an inch long. The black carpet beetle (the most common species) is shiny black. They prefer to feed in dark, undisturbed areas such as closets, attics, within boxes where wool and fur are stored, along and under the edges of carpeting, underneath upholstered furniture, and in air ducts where they feed on lint, pet hair and other bits of debris.

Pansy will be sending in regular bulletins about exciting carpet beetle antics. She is particularly keen on air duct and lint anecdotes.