Thursday, August the 25th, 2005
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Sometimes it can happen that you find yourself with a foe, or enemy. This may be the result of some ancient blood feud, or it may be more recent. You might, say, steal some fruit from a greengrocer and thereafter the greengrocer becomes your foe. I am not suggesting for one moment that Hooting Yard readers are the kind of people who go around stealing plums or berries, I simply use that as an example. Ancient blood feuds are more complicated, often having their origin in the doings—or misdoings—of your remote ancestors, for which you are in no way responsible. That being so, you should nevertheless be aware that an ancient blood feud foe is likely to be alarming, vicious, and bent on violence, whereas the greengrocer whose plum you slipped in your pocket may not remain your foe for long. The greengrocer's enmity is of a less frenzied sort.
It is a good idea to assess the level of enmity your foe feels towards you before accepting their invitation to meet, unarmed, at the top of a high tower. If they have a foe-score of more than seven point five, it may well be that they plan to push you over the edge of the tower so that you plunge to your doom on the savage rocks below. Less than seven point five and your foe may simply have chosen a place with breathtaking views the better to facilitate a little chat, after which bygones will be bygones.
Of course, arriving at the foe-score is not an exact science, so when you have conducted the tests it is advisable to repeat them. Always allow for a margin of error. Should it be your judgement that your life would be imperilled by meeting your foe in a high tower, do try to send a polite note explaining that you will be unable to make the appointment. Invent an excuse if necessary, but try to cleave to the truth if you can.
Next week : the stolen plums, or berries.