Friday, February the 3rd, 2006
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Hey hey we're some monkeys, and we're going to monkey around, but before we do, here is episode ten in our not-quite-daily serialisation of The Immense Duckpond Pamphlet
You are already aware that Jubble was unhinged. This had come to light very early in his days at the House, so long ago that no one—not even Blodgett—could recall precisely what had happened. There were occasional mutterings about a cravat and a thunderstorm, but nothing of substance.
When Doctor Cack had arrived with his hideously food-splattered entourage, Jubble had ingratiated himself immediately. He helped the tuberologists to move into the Leaking Building, tirelessly destroying with his bazooka the piles of accumulated waste materials that had been stored there. He hung their hats up to dry after rainfall. He sharpened their pencils. There were other kindnesses.
Within weeks, Doctor Cack had formally pronounced him as a bona fide assistant potato person. Jubble busied himself researching powdery scab, wireworm and spraing. He worked hard, and Doctor Cack began to trust him with the more outré aspects of potato science. But as the years passed, Jubble became ever more unhinged.
He was often to be found in uproarious carousal with Euwige, the two of them pouring vast quantities of dandelion and burdock down their throats and singing inhuman songs. His moustache grew outlandish, and was forever smeared with lemon curd and other, sinister curds. He wore hawthorns in his hair, and carried tiny abominable homunculi in the pockets of his mackintosh. Doctor Cack had to have words with him on this score, for the potato scientist was not a man to tolerate orthodox raincoats.