Saturday, February the 25th, 2006
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Chapter twenty-four of The Immense Duckpond Pamphlet
With his mighty paw, Detective Captain Unstrebnodtalb was about to scratch a bloody X on the forehead of Doctor Cack's murderer when his esteemed colleague the sleuth Aminadab came crashing on to the scene. He was carrying a punnet full to the brim with odd and inconsequential objects, which he proceeded to describe to Unstrebnodtalb at length. Readers avid for the details should send an email headed Please tell me what was in the sleuth Aminadab's brimming punnet, to which the author will reply individually, to the point of tedium.
But Aminadab's rambling drivel cannot be allowed to keep us from the denouement of this exciting story.
“Hush! Hush! Aminadab, you are a sleuth about whom legends will accrete, but for the love of G-d hold your tongue!” screeched Unstrebnodtalb, setting fire to a small herb garden with a blast of his breath.
Aminadab unzipped himself from his terrifying aquatic monster costume and placed his punnet on a flagstone next to one of Blodgett's fly-traps.
“You would do well to pay attention to my rambling drivel, Detective Captain Unstrobnedtalb,” he said, “For it is only because I carry with me at all times a vial of cassiber serum that I am able to assist you in bringing this case to a satisfactory conclusion. The deranged potato scientist Moop stunned me with an incredibly powerful poisonous dart from her blowpipe. By rights I should be in a coma. As it is, I had a split second in which to bite on a serum pill and thus outwit her!”
Detective Captain Unstrebnodtalb clawed at the sky, wailing horribly. “Very clever, Aminadab. But stop calling me Unstrobnedtalb, G-d damn you!”
While the two detectives were occupied with this banter, the culprit fled into the crumbling ruins of the House, forehead yet unmarked with an X.