Saturday, April the 8th, 2006
back to: title, date or indexes
Ever since a copy of The Third Policeman was shown, for a few seconds, in an episode of the television series Lost, there has been a huge increase in sales of Flann O'Brien's masterpiece. Clearly, then, the way to tackle the crisis in literacy and to get people to read books is to extend such “product placement” throughout the TV schedules.
As an aside, it is unwise to rely upon government action to create a literate population. The Education White Paper that has caused such controversy had to be pulped and reprinted at a cost of £23,000 because it was riddled with errors of spelling and grammar. It could have been proof-read at a fraction of the cost, but we ought not expect such a basic step from a gang of zombies who think and speak gobbledegook. Consider this exchange, from Hansard on 7th November 2005:
Mr. Hollobone: To ask the Secretary of State for Education and Skills how many (a) spelling mistakes and (b) grammatical errors in the Education White Paper were identified by her Department after publication.
Jacqui Smith: Since publication, we have focussed on disseminating the policy ideas in the White Paper and planning their implementation rather than proof-reading again. As with any document of this size, it is inevitable that some minor errors will remain and a small number have been noted that are not significant enough to require clarification.*
Note to Ms Smith: errors do not need to be “clarified”. They need to be corrected. But then, I suppose that's much less fun than “focussing” and “disseminating” and “planning” and “implementing”.
Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, book placement as a variation on product placement. Here are some suggestions for the programme-makers:
A customer in one of those soap opera pubs, the Rover's Return or the Queen Vic, could be shown reading a copy of Robert Burton's The Anatomy Of Melancholy as they nurse their pint of lager.
Medical dramas like Casualty and Holby City provide endless opportunities for reading scenes, what with all those bedridden patients not doing much. Shove a copy of Selected Works Of Thomas De Quincey in their palsied hands.
At the end of news bulletins, presenters like to shuffle their papers and smile at each other. Instead, they could be shown going back to reading The Confidence Man, His Masquerade by Herman Melville.
Given that most television persons are unaware of books other than The Da Vinci Code or Bravo Two Zero, however, I can see that my scheme is doomed to failure.
*NOTE : Isn't that marvellous? Ms Smith manages to insert a grammatical error into her written answer!
DETOURS : Bobbed Haired Bandit … The Duchess Of Malfi … Archaic Medical Terms